Romance as an Erotic Pathway
One of the best parts of my job as a coach is learning what turns people on. Everyone is different—and, there are patterns.
For many of us, romance is the doorway to the erotic. It shows up in your fantasies, your hottest sexual encounters, the movies you watch, or the books you read. (For a quick and lovely wander through the romantic fantasies of random internet strangers, check out this reddit thread. There’s a lot of red lipstick!)
Romance is a particular vibe you can create for yourself or with a lover. It evokes feelings of being loved, cherished, adored, fully known, or bonded together throughout lifetimes.
People connect to romance in different ways. For some, traditional symbols like rose petals, wine, and soft music stir deep feelings of connection. For others, romance is found in adventure, deep conversations, or shared moments of stillness. What matters most is how you feel on the inside.
Whether you’re cultivating romance within a partnership or deepening your relationship with yourself, bringing more romantic energy into your life can awaken desire, connection, and intimacy.
Romancing Yourself
Create a Romantic Atmosphere
Set the stage for beauty and sensuality in your space. Think of your home as a love letter to yourself—one that invites pleasure and delight. Keep fresh flowers on the table, drape a silky throw over your favorite chair, or place artwork that inspires passion where you’ll see it often. When your external environment reflects romance, it’s easier to access an internal state of love and eroticism.
Seduce Your Senses
Sensory indulgence is at the heart of romance. Engage in rituals that make you feel alive:
Light candles with a scent that excites you—jasmine, vanilla, sandalwood, or whatever makes you feel luscious.
Wear something soft or luxurious against your skin, whether it’s silk, cashmere, or nothing at all.
Play music that stirs your emotions, from sultry jazz to evocative classical pieces.
Take Yourself on a Date
Romance isn’t just about setting—it’s about experience. Take yourself out into the world with an open heart and open senses:
Go out for dinner and order exactly what you crave. Savor every bite.
Grab a drink at a beautiful bar and people-watch or bring a book that makes your heart ache.
Visit an art museum or book a solo getaway where you can immerse yourself in beauty and solitude.
The key is to be fully present with yourself, reveling in your company. When you romance yourself, you become more magnetic, grounded, and open to love in all its forms.
How will you romance yourself today?
Romancing Your Partner
Words that Evoke Desire
Words can carry the energy of romance. Instead of a simple “I love you,” try whispering, “I can’t stop thinking about the way you looked this morning” or “Being near you makes my whole body burn.” Write love poems, text your lover what you appreciate about their unique beauty, or send songs with seductive lyrics. Language that evokes longing and admiration invites intimacy.
Gestures that Linger
Romance thrives in small, intentional actions. A slow caress across the lower back while passing by, holding eye contact just a second longer than usual, or taking the time to anticipate your lover’s desires can turn an ordinary moment into something highly-charged.
Energy that Calls Them Closer
Romance is about how you show up, not just what you do. Take a moment to breathe, soften, and let your admiration for your partner radiate through your eyes and in your touch. When you are fully present and centered in your heart, even a simple “goodnight” can carry an unspoken invitation.
Your Invitation to More Romance
What if you started treating romance as a daily practice, something you infuse into your life rather than something you wait for? How would it change the way you experience love, connection, and pleasure?
I invite you to choose one way to bring more romance into your life this month. Whether it’s writing a love note, planning a sensual ritual for yourself, or creating an atmosphere of beauty in your space, let romance be a pathway to deeper intimacy—within yourself and with others.
How do you bring romance into your life? Message me—I’d love to hear your love story.
